08/19/2008  

        SCHEDULE            

 MAP & DIRECTIONS

 FOUNDER of CSKD   

          PURPOSE            

 STUDENT MANUAL  

WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT FROM MY CHILD? 

This is one question that I am often asked, when a parent is signing their child up for self-defense lessons. As parents we want the best for our children, we want them to have a fulfilling and successful life. We want to point them, as well as guide them in the right direction. There are times however, that while we are trying to do what we think is best for them, we end up pushing them too hard, expecting more from them than they are capable of doing, resulting in a child with a feeling of no self-worth, poor working habits and often disciplinary problems. Self-defense can help your child in developing confidence, self-esteem, positive work habits, self control, leadership, responsibility, respect for themselves and others, as well as so many other benefits both physical and mental. The importance in teaching, is to know when and how much to push, and what to expect from each child individually. Children are different in their capabilities both physically and mentally. What works and what we expect from one child, may not work or be expected from another. We can sometimes forget this. We start expecting our children to respond the way we or other children respond, or to learn as quickly as we or other children might learn. This type of pressure can often cause a child to act in a non-positive way. If a child feels that we are never satisfied in what they do, how can we expect them to be satisfied in themselves? Whether a child succeeds at something or not, if the child is trying their best, and it is something that they have been working hard at. We still need to recognize their effort. Congratulate them for their hard work, let them know you are proud of them, and satisfied that they did their best. The following is an example that happens one too many times. A child attends Self-defense class regularly; they work hard in every class always trying to do their best. The day finally comes when they get to test for their next rank. Once again, they try their hardest. They come to class the first time after testing and find that they have made it to their next level. The child, who is excited, goes to his/her parents and says, “Look I did it.” The instructor hearing this says, “Yes, you really did a good job.” The parents respond by saying “ yes, but he/she could have done better.” The “yes” response is positive, but the “you could have done better” response does nothing to inspire or motivate a child. If a child feels that their best is never good enough, the child will in all likelihood give up, and will quit trying altogether. What I’m trying to say is, motivate your child to do their best, not your best or someone else’s best. They will develop and improve at their own pace. With the proper support, they will be less likely to quit at what they are doing. Allow your child to pick an activity that they enjoy, forcing them to participate in activities that they do not like, is merely a waist of time for you, your child and any one else who is involved in the activity. Finally, in response to the question, “WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT FROM MY CHILD?” I say simply, “EXPECT THEIR BEST, NOT ANYONE ELSE’S.”  

                                                                                            Master Tim Kotlarek  "Mr. K" 

                                                                                            Choong Sil Kwan Do Self-Defense Modesto, Ca.

ARE YOU A FRIEND?

 Ask 10 people what being a friend means to them and you will probably get 10 different answers. Most would agree however that loyalty and dedication should be a requirement. What seems sad to me is that what people want or expect in a friend, they themselves are not willing to give. If you ever have a true friend in your life, you have been truly blessed. I’m not talking about someone who calls himself or herself your friend; I’m talking about a true friend, someone who will do anything for you and continue to do so even if you never do anything for them. There are three kinds of friendship; the best and the most rare is the true friendship. This is when both parties are true friends, they will always be there for each other. They are dedicated and willing to make the personal sacrifices necessary to being a true friend. There’s the false friendship, although there really is no friendship. These people call themselves friends; yet neither one is willing to do what it takes to be a true friend. Finally there’s the one sided friendship; this is the sad one. This is the friendship that has one true friend and one false friend. I call it the sad one because the false friend believes that he or she really is a true friend. They just don’t know or aren't willing to do what it takes to be a true friend and they usually end up using and hurting the one who is. The following is an example. It is about two people we will name True and False. True and False become acquaintances; and over time they come to call themselves friends. When False needs a favor he calls True and True being a friend goes over to help False even if it means that True has to interrupt his own plans to do so. But when True needs a favor and calls False for help, False always seems too busy. If False needs a ride, True is there. If True needs a ride, False doesn’t have time. When False needs help fixing something, once again True is there. When True needs help, once again False isn’t around. True does the things he promises. False promises things he’ll never do. So why is it, that True continues to help and be there for False, even when False is never there for True? After all False is not really True's friend. The answer is because True really is False's friend and a true friend will always be there. So the next time someone asks you if you’re a friend, take a close look at yourself. Are you a true friend or someone who thinks they are? Remember  "Anyone can have a friend but not anyone can be a friend."

                                                                                            Master Tim Kotlarek  "Mr. K" 

                                                                                            Choong Sil Kwan Do Self-Defense Modesto, Ca.

                                                                      WHAT IS COURAGE? (true story)

Many years ago, there was a little girl, who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her five-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. After hesitating for only a moment, the little boy took in a deep breath and said 'Yes, I'll do it if it will save my sister.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as everyone else did, seeing the color returning to the little girls cheeks. Then the little boys face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and with a trembling voice asked, Will I start to die right away? Being so young her little brother had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all his blood.